People are Tired of Church Drama

By Christopher Benek

The decline of Christianity in the United States has been a significantly reported trend over the past few decades. Several major studies and surveys have illustrated this decline.  I think that what has contributed to this trend the most in the United States is that most Christians are tired of church drama. 

In 2007 the Pew Research Center reported that about 78% of American adults identified as Christian. By 2021, that figure dropped to around 63%, marking a significant decrease in Christian affiliation. At the same time, the percentage of Americans who identify as religiously unaffiliated, often called “nones” (atheists, agnostics, or nothing in particular), rose from 16% in 2007 to 29% in 2021.

Gallup Poll data shows a similar trend in church membership, with the percentage of Americans belonging to a church, synagogue, or mosque falling below 50% for the first time in 2020. In 1999, 70% of Americans reported being members of a religious congregation, but by 2020, only 47% did​.

The Barna Group has also reported on the decline of practicing Christians. In 2000, 45% of Americans identified as practicing Christians, while by 2020, that number had dropped to 25%. This indicates not only a decline in identification but also a decrease in regular engagement with Christian practices, like attending church.

So why is this happening in the United States?  It’s not because the global church is on the decline.  Adherence to Christianity is on the rise in many places around the world Africa, Latin America, and parts of Asia. For example:

And according to the Pew Research Center, Christianity remains the world’s largest religion, and its global population is expected to grow from 2.3 billion in 2015 to 2.9 billion by 2050​ 

In contrast, Western Europe, North America, and Australia are experiencing a decline in Christian affiliation and overall church attendance.  Many hypothesize that secularization and cultural shifts are to blame for the decline.  And while these, and others, reasons should be considered but I don’t think that the church universal can underestimate the power of one not-so-silent church killer – manufactured drama.

If you’ve been to most churches in the US you know exactly what I am talking about.  Church decline isn’t a result of the church not being fashionable enough.  It’s not that the church doesn’t have enough ministry programs or missional outreach.  It’s not that the music isn’t the right style.  It is that the church often is a completely toxic environment. 

From the gossiping and henpecking, to publicly aired ecclesiastical divisiveness, to unthinkable abuse cases, to country club type elitism, to snarky commentary about literally everything – churches are often self-fulfilling prophecies of self-destruction.  Whether it is the businessperson who has come to project their failed professional leadership onto an unsuspecting church council or the “taker” who simply want to feed off of the church’s resources like a parasite, churches often attract a motley crew.  After all, the church is supposed to be the place where self-professed sinners gather.  But what people often seem to forget is that, in a healthy church atmosphere, the intentional sinning is supposed to stop.  

As someone who has become a conflict-management expert in the church (which, in many ways, I think all pastors are) I’ve come to realize that church’s do not grow in size and spiritually depth when there is conflict among the staff of the lay leadership.  A new person walking in the door can almost immediately sense conflict and will want nothing to do with it.  If they wanted drama they could just go to social media or the nearest comment section online.

This is why, before any church can grow, it has to eliminate the drama from its midst.  The ministry of the Apostle Paul as articulated in the New Testament provides us several examples of how to deal with church drama.

Paul often urged churches to prioritize unity over division. For example, in his letter to the Corinthians, Paul addressed factions within the church that were based on allegiances to different leaders. He emphasized that Christians should be united in Christ, not divided by personal loyalties. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 1:10: “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

In the church at Philippi, Paul dealt with personal conflicts between two leaders, Euodia and Syntyche. Rather than ignoring the issue, Paul urged them to reconcile, showing the importance of resolving interpersonal drama in a way that preserves peace. Paul writes in Philippians 4:2-3: “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.”  Additionally, Paul often encouraged forgiveness as a way to heal divisions and move beyond conflict. For example, in Colossians 3:13, he exhorted the believers to forgive as the Lord forgave them.

Paul consistently emphasized love and humility as solutions to conflict and drama. One of the most well-known examples is in 1 Corinthians 13, where he describes the importance of love in the Christian community. He presents love as patient, kind, and not easily angered – qualities that can diffuse church drama.  Similarly, in Romans 12:10, Paul calls believers to “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves,” advocating for an attitude of service and humility that helps prevent conflicts.

It is also important to note that Paul did not shy away from calling for accountability when necessary. He believed that proper church discipline was vital for addressing wrongdoing and preserving the church’s spiritual health. In Galatians 6:1, Paul provides guidance on how to deal with those caught in sin: “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”

Jesus himself addresses a similar issue in Matthew 18:15 saying:

“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. 16 But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. 

In other words – churches sometime need to realize that – not every church is for every person.   All of us have drama – because we are human.  But if a person refuses to stop bringing manufactured drama to your congregation – at some point leadership will either deal with it directly or your membership will ultimately, most certainly, face decline.  

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Each week, Tech Pastor & CEO, Christopher Benek shares his social and religious commentary

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